The blogosphere is a bloated, beastly animal that has grown to mammoth proportions over the years. It is also of varying quality and characteristics, but one things remains universally the same: people like to occasionally communicate their thoughts, be they interesting or not, as we humans are truly interesting creatures in our own minds. But all in all it doesn’t really matter, because there is room for everyone. With this random and common idea in mind, I would like to follow by sharing some random thoughts, opinions, and complaints per blog tradition, in no particular order:
- I find the formality of semi-formal small talk to be somewhat annoying if not nauseating. Is it a necessary evil? I should think so, but it is unfortunate just the same! A typical conversation between acquaintances or friends might start something like this:
“Hi [random friend], how are you?
Oh, I’m great, how about you?
I’m good thanks.
Glad to hear it!
Thanks!”
Granted this does not apply to all situations, but I think you get my point. This typical conversation is also sometimes followed by an awkward silence, which either gives way to one of the speakers desperately throwing out a random topic for discussion so as to save face and avoid embarrassment (i.e. “So what do you think about this recent weather?”), or promptly and possibly awkwardly parting ways without having shared any discourse worth the breath spent speaking it.
Have things always been this way? I don’t know, since my mortal life has so far only encompassed just over two decades, but I imagine it has something to do with the massive scale of the common American’s social world today. Texting allows for more efficient, brief notes (though this habit itself can be equally as degrading as lame small talk conversations). The internet puts us into contact with multitudes of individuals we might not otherwise communicate with. Sometimes we simply cannot remember all the names of the individuals we are acquainted with, so these awkward small talk conversations provide us with a simple means of saving face and/or escape. If you somehow become victim to participating in a small talk conversation with me where I have nothing interesting to share, please don’t take offense… I’m merely fulfilling the status quo!
- I hate… no wait, hate is not a strong enough word. Let me try a little Spanish: I odio (ah, that’s better), yes, I ODIO… dust! I will let my inner OCD speak itself now. Dust is terrible. Dust is ugly. It makes you sneeze, it gets everywhere, and as a finishing touch of pure evil, it even heats up your gaming computer to the point so that it crashes and artifacts the graphics on your screen. You can spend all day carefully cleaning and wiping it up, but it just returns the next day. I long for the day when one can buy a device that sits in the room and attracts and traps all particles of dust in a given room. True there are some good air purifiers out there now, but they don’t perform near this desire of mine.
- In a lot of cities, especially college towns, you see a lot of people walking on the sidewalks with little white earbuds and other headphones planted in their ears (myself included). With this sight you automatically - and correctly - assume that they are listening to a portable music device. One thing I find humorous that you can sometimes notice in this case is that people’s tempo or speed or pattern of walking will change according to the same qualities of the music they are listening to (unless they are trying to avoid demonstrating this, like me). Music can really make you feel cool or inspired or what have you, but that only is so for your own consciousness! I find it embarrasing it I catch myself mouthing lyrics or trying to look cool according to the music I listen to. Don’t you know how silly it sounds when you sing to music that no one else can hear? It’s a hard temptation to resist!
Nigel,
I agree with you, I think ‘small talk’ is a “necessary evil.” Whenever I call someone and get down to business and skip the ST, I feel like I am being rude.
Let’s start a revolt! Down with the Small Talk!
Agreed, it is quite appropriate for certain situations, I just try to avoid doing the same conversation over and over with people when I see them time and again (although this is an obvious point, I’ve seen many fall into the trap of sameness just because of unexpectedly encountering someone they know).
Of course, the more personalized the small talk the better, because your partner in conversation will feel like he or she is being treated in a more authentic manner. I am pretty good at remembering the intricacies of people’s lives, their hobbies and other details as I come to know them, but names are a killer for me. Everyone always remembers my name, though, because there simply aren’t a lot of Nigels in the United States!
No, but there are a lot of Nigels in England, lol
“Small talk” for humans is not just the words spoken, but the attendant body language, particularly facial expression, the intonation and the eye contact component. It has its exact parallel in the tail position and attendant purring when cats meet, and hackle level,tail position and yes-the butt sniffing that dogs use as they ritually assess the friend/foe threat in each meeting situation. So when you ignore the “ritual” small talk in meeting someone-anyone-you introduce a level of threat that is not eliminated by that apparently worthless exchange of “niceties”. That is why we feel cold-shouldered in meeting someone,who is not entirely acceptable as “tribe”, by their failure to pause, go through the ritual exchange of words and body signalling and maybe only then move on. Family, bosum buddies demonstrating some other signals-family greeting with a smile only, another team member with his college scarf worn the “right way” around his neck can approach and ignore the usual ritual signaling without “raising hackles”. Take another leaf through Desmond Morrison’s “The Naked Ape” for more on this fascinating aspect of interpersonal behaviours.